Kamikaze
by Fire Wolf12
Summary: Suicide is hard to deal with for any human, but for human-avian hybrids who have been through so much to save their lives, giving life away of ones own free will is unheard of. Rated T for some words, perhaps violence...not sure how popular this will be
1. Chapter 1

_**Okay…So this Is that story I wasn't sure about posting…But I like it. It's pretty much written from the start until 10+ chapters, so these first ten chapters might be updated pretty quickly, then we run into issues…**_

_**I don't ever own Maximum Ride…**_

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CHAPTER ONE

Fang's POV

It was after lunchtime. Time had passed quick today. Unusual. But we were still kind of gathered in the kitchen area. Max was at the computer, doing some long-needed math learning on the educational math websites. Nudge was reading one of the teen girl magazines she was so into, for some odd reason, sprawled across the couch. Gazzy was playing a video game; his favorite, the one with the fighter jets. It was rated T for Teen, but the 8-year-old always seemed to beat Iggy and I and get the highest score…He'd make a great pilot one day. Angel was at the kitchen table, coloring. Iggy was in the armchair, head back, looking in the general direction of the window looking out over the canyon.

I finished the lunch dishes. That was my job. Max did so much around here, and that was one thing I could do that would ease her load just a little bit.

When finished, I sat down next to Angel at the table. She was using her crayons to color a picture Max had printed for her from the computer. She did a perfect job. She stayed in the lines, used the perfect colors. It was an angel. It figured Max would give her that one…

"That's really pretty, Angel." I told her. "Good job."

She looked up at me and smiled, her blue eyes sparkling. "Thank you, Fang."

I ruffled up her hair, then moved to the couch, shoving Nudge's legs aside and sitting down. She scowled at me, then exaggerated stretching her legs out over my lap, obviously trying to hit me where I'd rather not be hit. I lightly smacked her leg. She ignored me.

Gazzy passed up to Level 11 on the game. I'd never been that high, of course…I watched him, trying to see his secret to passing…

I glanced at Iggy. He was still staring outside. He'd been doing that lately. Staring at something--well, staring at something like only a blind person can--but not really doing much else. He sat somewhere with his arms crossed, frowning, just looking in the general direction of a window. He hadn't said much. Not normal for him.

Today his eyes were a glazed over shade of blue. They'd always been like that, but it had been getting worse. It was a little disturbing…

"You okay, Ig?" Max beat me to asking him. She had turned around in the chair, looking at Iggy.

He looked up at Max, looking straight at her. He nodded wordlessly.

She glared at him, knowing he couldn't see. She rolled her eyes.

Iggy sensed it. "I'm fine. Really."

Nudge looked away from her magazine and made a face. "Ig, you don't look so good."

He sat back again and looked away, back at the window. "I wouldn't know…Besides, I'm fine."

Max got up, stepped over my legs on the coffee table, and leaned down over him, hands on both arms of the chair. She was stubbornly face-to-face with him. I could tell he knew it, just by the way his nose twitched, but he didn't look at her.

She backed off. Even from behind her, I could tell that her maternal side took over. She pulled his chin up, since he was about 2 feet shorter than her at that slumping position he was in, and made him look at her. She put a hand to his forehead. "You have a fever…" She stroked her thumb under his glazed eyes. "You're pale, and you have dark circles under your eyes like you haven't slept forever…"

He pulled away from her. She scowled. "And you're in a bad mood…I officially declare you sick." She said that like it was the law. Like she was declaring independence from all authority. Which sounded like her actually…

I pushed Nudge's legs over again and got up, standing next to Max. "You heard her, Ig." I said down to him. "You are sick. Go to bed and try to get some sleep."

He stayed, his arms still crossed, still looking away. "I'm not tired."

I raised an eyebrow over at Max. She scowled at me. I turned back to Iggy. "Then we'll drug you."

"I'd like to see you try."

"You are so stubborn…"

"I'm stubborn, not sick."

I scowled at him, glanced at Max again. I leaned down, arms around his stomach, and hauled him up over my shoulder as he protested, banging my back like he knew I hated. I ignored him. Angel laughed as I carried him to our room and dropped him on his bed. He landed with a thump and halfway fell off the bed because of my bad aim, which wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't been resisting and flailing around so much. He landed on his knees beside the bed. I lightly tapped his shoulder, mentally saying "I'm sorry."

That was usually all that needed to happen to make things okay between us…

Which is why it surprised me when he stood, swung around, and got in my face.

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_**Okay…Not sure what to say…Except that this is the very reason I wanted a fan fiction account, so I could post this, yet it's like the 6**__**th**__** story I've published…**_

_**Please review! I'd really love to continue! The action hasn't even started yet!**_

_**--Fire wolf12**_


	2. Chapters 2 and 3

_**Okay, I want to get to the action ASAP. I don't know how popular this story is going to be, but I'm just gonna post the first few chapters and set up some action before the haters start reviewing…**_

_**I don't own Maximum Ride…**_

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CHAPTER TWO

Fang's POV

"Man, what was that for?!! I'm _telling_ you!!! I'm not sick and I don't need to sleep!!!"

Before he could go on, Max somehow squeezed into the almost non-existent space between us and pushed Iggy away from me. He was still glaring at me, angry, but he didn't advance any more than that and only took one step back when Max pushed him.

"Iggy?"

I turned to see Angel at the door. She was half-hidden behind the doorframe, peering nervously from there. Her eyes were scared. Of course. Iggy didn't yell like that a lot.

"Iggy, are you okay?" She was tearing up. Gazzy came up behind her…Damn they were brother and sister…Then Nudge.

"We heard you yelling…" she explained, clearly worried.

Max knew what to do, like always. She smiled that smile that made me smile. "Everything's okay. We'll work it out." She elbowed Iggy in the ribs, and he didn't respond, just continued to glare in my direction. "_Someone _is just cranky because he's sick and is being a spoiled little brat about it…"

Gazzy and Angel both looked at me to confirm that. I smiled and nodded, backing Max like I always would. I could tell Angel was reading Max, Iggy, and I's minds to make sure too…They both glanced at Iggy again, then left the room silently, probably going back to the living room to decide what had just happened. Nudge stayed a moment longer, then left too.

Max and I turned to Iggy. He could sense it.

Iggy turned and collapsed with perfect aim--better aim than mine--onto his bed. He was tall; his feet were practically falling off the end and it was a wonder that he could still sleep on it. "Just go away and leave me alone…" he groaned. He buried his face in the pillow, a tell-tale sign that something was on his mind.

I looked at Max and she looked at me. I raised an eyebrow and nodded towards Iggy. She tipped her head towards him, then touched my arm as she moved to sit on the bed next to Iggy, telling me to stay. I loved having a secret language. One that only the two of us could understand.

Max had found a small space on the bed to sit. Here came the loving, caring Max that I loved so much…

"Ig?" she said. He didn't respond, only buried his face deeper in the pillow. Max put her hand on his arm. He pulled away and rolled over, away from us.

Max looked up to me. I shrugged and nodded at the door. She glanced back at Iggy, then to me again. I shrugged again. She nodded and stood up.

"Fine, Iggy." she said stubbornly, her arms crossed. "We'll leave you alone. Be a grumpy little kid, see if we care." She left.

I stayed and stared at Iggy until I heard Max talking to the others in the living room.

"I know you're there, Fang."

"Yeah, I know you do."

He sat up and looked around. "Well what do you want?"

I shrugged. "Just wondering if you're okay…"

He growled. "Why do you guys think something's wrong with me?"

I shrugged again. "Because you're just acting weird."

"Whatever…"

I stayed, studying him.

"You can go now, Fang."

"Fine. See you." I left too.

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CHAPTER THREE

Iggy's POV

After Fang left, I sighed. That made me happy, even though it shouldn't have and made me feel guilty because it did.

Not sure what to do, I got up and made my way over to where Fang's mirror was…I always made fun of him because he looked in it. "Yeah, look at that pretty face of yours, Fang," I would say. But at least he could _see_ his reflection…

I knew it was right in front of where I was standing…I reached out and touched the smooth glass, and wondered what my reflection looked like. Max said that I had red hair and blue eyes, and that my skin was really pale…but what did red look like? Blue? I used to be able to see, but then those ass-holes at the School did what they did…Jeb had said I was pretty young, which was probably why I couldn't remember what the colors looked like. That sucked a lot. One major reason I was going to kill the leader of the School…That and because they'd tortured my family…Or at least I would help kill him…

Who was I kidding? If _anyone _got to kill the School principal, it would be Max or Fang. Never me. I was just the blind kid. I'm more useless than Gazzy and Angel, which is saying something…The little 6- and 8- year-olds can kick Eraser butt better than me, a 14-year-old boy…Great. Wimp. Liability. _Experiment._ That's all I was…I would never be any help, and I was just causing trouble for everyone else…It would be better if I wasn't around…


	3. Chapters 4 and 5

_**New Chapters!! Get to the action!! These chapters are tending to be kinda short…But okay!**_

_**I don't own Maximum Ride…Ever…**_

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CHAPTER FOUR

Fang's POV

"Has anyone seen Iggy lately?" I asked the half of the flock that was gathered in the kitchen.

Everyone shrugged.

I looked to Max. She shrugged too.

"I'll go check on him…" I said, making my way to his room. We'd left him around lunchtime. And it was almost dinner. Usually he'd be scouring the kitchen for any decent food by now…

Max followed me. I scowled at her over my shoulder.

"What? I'm going to my room."

I rolled my eyes and went on.

I knocked on the door to our room, lightly, like always, to alert Iggy that I was coming in. I opened the door…

Max noticed when I stopped dead in my tracks.

"Fang!" she said. "Don't just stop like that!" She saw my face, which I could feel had lost all of its color. She looked around my shoulder.

I saw her face loose its color too as she saw.

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CHAPTER FIVE

Fang's POV

The window was open wide. Iggy was sitting on the sill. He was half turned towards us, his face in profile against the sky behind him. He was wearing a jacket…and his wings weren't through the holes we'd cut in it. His hands were tied behind him. His face was solemn when he turned to face us. He knew we were there and he wasn't doing anything about it.

Max and I both got his intention.

Usually, Max would speak first. Tell Iggy to get down out of the window before he fell. But she didn't.

So I did.

"Iggy…Get down." It was lame, and I knew he wouldn't listen, but it was all I could think of.

He looked away, out at the canyon. He didn't say anything.

"Iggy. I said get down."

Nothing.

"Iggy. Get. Down. Now."

"No."

"Excuse me?"

"No. I. Said. No."

I glared at him. He was still looking out the window.

"Iggy." Max's voice told me she would take it from here. "Get down."

"NO."

She glanced at me. I met her eyes.

"You get him." she mouthed.

I nodded and put a finger to my lips.

Looking back to Iggy, I silently made my way back to the window. I tried to be as silent as possible, which Max always said I was the expert at…

Didn't work.

Iggy heard me coming and yelled, "NO! DON'T TRY TO STOP ME!"

And then he jumped.

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_**OH THE DRAMA!!!**_

_**Review? Please?**_

_**--Fire wolf12**_


	4. Chapter 6

_**New chapter! Getting positive reviews, so I'll keep posting.**_

_**I don't own Maximum Ride.**_

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CHAPTER SIX

It all came to me in quick words and simple small sentences.

Iggy. Jumped. Hands tied. Wings trapped. Suicide. Why? Must save…Can't. Frozen…

"FANG GET HIM!!!"

Max's voice brought me back. It took a precious second for me to get back to my senses, then I was rocketing through the window, out into the fresh air and extending my wings. Any other time, that would have made me happy. Jumping out into the open air just to fly…But not right now.

The instant I was out of the window, I angled downward sharply, following the bright blue of Iggy's jacket…the jacket that was keeping his wings pinned. He was pretty thorough…

I was rocketing towards him at more than a hundred miles an hour. I would have to catch him. But I could go right by him if I missed or break his back by ramming straight into him at this speed…It was a delicate balance…

After a few seconds, I was about 50 feet above him. I reached out to him as I got closer and grabbed him around his chest, easier since his arms were pinned, too. I immediately tried to stop. Not easy to do when you're falling at 150 mph and you're catching someone that won't help you stop him. I could feel the strain on my shoulders as we slowed down, the air resistance going strong against the broad surface of my wings. Iggy didn't make it any easier. He had noticed he wasn't falling freely anymore, and was struggling for his life, if that's the correct term to use for someone who wanted to be let go so their life would end…

"Damn it, Iggy…" I said. "Cut it out!"

He didn't listen. He kept at it.

We had stopped; and it was hard to hover with double the weight, but his fighting was making it even harder…I was losing my grip around his chest. He would fall if he kept it up…

"Fang!"

I saw that Max had followed me out the window, and was coming down to me, quickly, but not dropping like a rock.

"LET ME GO LET ME GO LET ME GO!!!" Iggy was screaming.

Max saw me losing my grip, then looked down the remaining 50 feet to the floor of the canyon. After realizing that we were that close, I swooped down there.

I slammed Iggy down on the rocks, on his stomach, not caring how much he would hate me for it. I landed on top of him, knees on both sides of his waist.

"Damn you Fang! I hate you!" He was still trying to get away. I could feel his wings trying to break free of the confinement of his jacket. Did I get up? Of course not.

I looked over at Max. She was still pale.

"Fang, let him up." she said softly.

I listened. She untied the shoelace around his wrists, silent. Iggy had calmed down. Max helped him sit up.

"I hate you Fang." he growled.

I snapped.

I jumped at him, pushing him back onto the rocks, on his back this time. I straddled him again, punching him in the face about three times in a row.

_Punch._ "Iggy, why'd you do that??!!" _Punch. _"That was so stupid!!!!" _Punch. _"I thought you were smarter than that!!!!"

Max grabbed my arm. "Fang!" I stopped and looked into her eyes. "Fang. Stop."

Then Iggy tackled me. He did the same to me as I'd done to him. He didn't punch me though. He just looked at me, angrier than I'd ever seen him.

"DAMN IT FANG!!! WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST LET ME??! IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO MUCH BETTER FOR EVERYONE!!! I WOULDN'T HAVE TO BE A LIABILITY ANYMORE I WOULDN'T HAVE TO BE BLIND!!! I'M NOT MUCH HELP ANYWAYS I MIGHT AS WELL BE DEAD!!!!"

He'd started out angry as hell at me. Now he was crying.

I looked over at Max. She seemed just as shocked as I was. She wasn't very good with emotional break-downs.

I didn't know what to do either. Iggy never cried. Angel and Nudge? Definitely. Gazzy? Maybe, on occasion. Max? Very rarely. Iggy? Not in the entire time I'd known him, which was pretty much my entire life.

Now what do I do?

I gently pushed him off of me so I could sit up, still holding him by the shoulders. He was shaking now, trying to hold back the tears.

"I'm sorry…" he whispered. "I'm really sorry…" He broke down again.

I did what I thought was best.

I hugged him, knowing that it wouldn't feel gay because brothers can hug without that feeling. He knew that, and I could tell he was happy that I was at least trying.

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_**Okay! Done! Eight more chapters, then I'm gonna have to start writing again…I've had these last chapters saved on my computer, up to an unfinished Chapter 14, but then I'm gonna have to start thinking again since I'm not sure where to go from there…But I'll do that, just because I'm loving this story. Sorry if I'm making any Iggy-fans angry. Remember, I love Iggy, and torture only my favorite characters.**_

_**Please review!**_

_**--Fire wolf12**_


	5. Chapters 7 and 8

_**SOOOOO sorry for the delay!!! I've been busy and emotionally distressed!!! So I definitely haven't been working on this story or any other story…I'm really sorry, loyal readers…**_

_**I still don't own Maximum Ride.**_

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CHAPTER SEVEN

We stayed there for a little while.

Iggy cried into my shoulder. Once calmed down, he pulled back and wiped at his sightless eyes with his shoulder.

He looked over to where he thought Max was. "I'm sorry."

Max sighed. "It's okay, Ig."

I watched him and I could tell he knew it. He looked at me, focused on a spot to the right of my head.

"Are you mad, Fang?"

I shook my head and looked away.

"Fang?"

"No, he's not mad, Iggy." Max hugged Iggy, glared at me over his shoulder. "And I'm not either." It was a really gentle side that I liked in her.

I looked up at the clear sky.

"Max?" She and Iggy looked at me. I pointed up. They looked up. Iggy did, even though he couldn't see.

Angel, Nudge, and Gazzy were all hovering about 300 feet above us, looking down. Even from this far, I could tell they were confused and a little scared.

I glanced at Max. Iggy was still holding her; I could see in his face that he was still upset, and he was stubbornly going to keep her there.

I nodded. "I'll go." I stood, brushed the dirt from my butt, and did a little running start before taking off. I almost tripped on a rock. I didn't think there were this many rocks down here…It was a little harder to see, since the sun was right in my eyes, but I made it to the younger half of the flock without crashing into any of them. That wouldn't be good, considering I'm bigger than all of them…

They all looked to me, demanding an explanation of why Iggy is crying and clinging to Max at the bottom of the canyon that we'd always told them to stay out of.

Because I knew it would happen, I looked right to Angel and let her read my mind in that little way of hers. As if I could stop her. I knew she wouldn't understand the real meaning of the word "suicide," so I mentally thought of the definition for her. I watched her eyes turn from curiosity to confusion to horror. She stared down at Iggy, then grabbed Gazzy's hand.

Nudge spoke first. "Okay, Fang, tell me now! What happened?"

That's Nudge for you. Demanding 'till the end.

I took a deep breath. "Iggy tried to kill himself. He jumped from our window with his hands tied and his wings trapped."

I let that sink in. I looked down. Iggy was taking off his jacket and stretching out his wings. The others were looking down at him too.

After a moment, when none of them said anything, I looked up at them. All of them were pale, though Gazzy most of all. They all looked upset, as expected. Angel was shaking, reliving the memory she'd seen from my head of seeing Iggy jump. She'd done that before, relived memories. From when Gazzy hadn't gotten away from the bomb fast enough…She'd told me about that, and said she didn't like it. I felt sorry for her, having to live with that.

Gazzy, of course, was freaked out. Iggy was his role model. Great, now we'd have to worry about Gazzy becoming suicidal…

Iggy…

I couldn't accept that he was suicidal. I was sure he had his reasons, but I still couldn't believe it. He was my best friend, to tell the truth. Right up there with Max. Not because he was the same age or because we shared a room, but he just was. Maybe it was because we'd practically grown up together. His crate was across from Max's and mine at the School. My earliest memory? We were little, maybe 5 or 6. The three of us were talking, like usual. Then they'd taken Iggy away. And he'd been gone for hours. Max and I had been pretty worried; nothing good ever happened when you were gone for more than an hour. Then he came back freaking out and crying because he couldn't see, and there were scars over his eyes, which you could barely see now. Max and I had both reached out far over the space between the cages and touched his hands, which were clinging to the bars. That had helped him.

Since then, me and him had been friends. When Jeb had broken us out of the School, I was the one that held his hand and guided him so that he wouldn't get separated from us and be found by the wrong people. Id been the one to describe the outside world to him…

Angel was clearly reading my thoughts again. She took my hand. I looked down at her. She was worried, looking up at me with big blue eyes. I smiled at her, then glanced down at Max and Iggy again.

I took a deep breath. "C'mon, guys. Let's go inside."

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CHAPTER EIGHT

The second we touched down in the living room, through the window, Gazzy and Nudge just sat down on the couch, speechless, still thinking about what was going on.

When I landed, Angel latched her arms around my leg, crying into my side. I sighed, then picked her up and held her as I sat down in the armchair with her in my lap. It had to be hard for her, being so young. Gazzy was on the couch closest to me, arms crossed on the arm of the couch and his face hidden in them. I reached over and patted his shoulder. He didn't understand either. Nudge was too far away to touch, but I met her eyes and tried to smile. She turned moodily away. She was going to be a difficult teenager to handle. She seemed to be a little shocked, as we would all be.

When Max and Iggy came through the open window, we all looked up. Iggy took a second to figure out where he was, then headed straight to our room and slammed the door, leaving all of us watching after him.

Max looked at everyone, taking stock of how everyone was. When finished, she nodded and looked at me.

"Fang, you should go talk to him." she said. "He'd listen to you."

"No he wouldn't."

"Yes he would." Angel said, looking up at me. "He'll listen to you, Fang."

I stared down at her for a moment, then nodded. I had to listen to her. She could read Iggy's mind and know he would listen to me. Angel climbed down from my lap and cuddled up next to Gazzy on the couch.

Of course, the door was locked. My first worry: What if he was going to try again? I couldn't leave it at that and give up right there. So, I knocked on the door.

"Ig? C'mon, let me in!"

No response.

"I know you're in there!"

Nothing.

"Fine! You have to come out sometime!"

So I sat with my back to the wall across from the door. I was prepared to sit there as long as I had to. I waited for a little while, then tried again.

"Iggy, come on. You have to let me in sometime! It's my room too!"

I heard some movement and stepped back from the door. I was almost ready to kick the door down in about 2 seconds, when it opened.

Iggy and I stared face to face. At some point, he'd grown about 2 inches taller than me. Neither of us said anything. Max had shown up in the hallway, Gazzy peeking from behind her.

"I don't feel like having a roommate right now, Fang. I need some time alone to think about things…"

He looked at me. Where he thought I was. I guess he hadn't realized he'd had a growth spurt. He was confused, I could tell.

"I really am sorry Fang. I need to think…" He looked away.

I nodded. "Okay. It's okay, Iggy." I gently pushed past him and into the room. I grabbed the bag from the end of my bed and shoved a day's worth of clothes into it, along with a jacket. Iggy could hear me opening drawers, so he probably knew what I was doing. Max was in the doorway, watching, unsure.

When I finished, I swept by him to the window and shut it.

"I'm locking this." I told him. He nodded.

So, with that, I took my bag of clothes and left the room, shutting the door behind me.

Max looked up at me. "Are you sure that's such a good idea?"

I grinned. "Nope."

She still looked at me like I was making a stupid decision.

"If you want to try and talk to him, be my guest. I think it would be best to just leave him alone for right now."

She didn't say anything, so I walked past her and into the living room. I shouldered the bag, then jumped through the open window.

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_**There we go! I'll really try to update more…I hope that you all accept my apologies…Please review!**_

_**--Fire wolf12**_


	6. Chapter 9

_**So sorry for the wait! Busy! Gonna be really busy! But I'm really gonna try and get a few chapters posted tonight…**_

_**I don't own Maximum Ride…**_

CHAPTER NINE

Fang's POV

It felt good to just fly. Not flying down at a 90-degree angle to catch someone who's falling to their death, or flying at 200 miles per hour to escape some sort of pain, like they made us do at the School, not flying to escape imminent death. Just flying to fly.

It was getting kind of late, but I didn't care. It was still warm and light enough to see, which admittedly wasn't very light, thanks to my raptor vision. I flew high, the giant E of our house a mere dot, compared to when I flew lower. So I went higher. It was colder up this high, but I could handle it. It had been a little harder than I thought to catch Iggy from falling. He was heavier than he looked. My shoulders were still aching a little bit.

I circled the canyon a few times before Max came to join me. I slowed down when I saw her coming, but didn't show any other signs that I'd seen her. I stayed at that pace even after she caught up to me. I didn't look down at her, and neither of us spoke. But, after a while, I glanced down at her. She seemed a little overwhelmed too. She was so different from the little girl from the School. A leader…fighter…woman…She was definitely stronger since then. Physically, she'd be able to kick the Whitecoat's asses if they even TALKED about touching any of us. Not only was she able to, but she wouldn't be afraid to. She was more experienced, definitely. So different…I wondered how she was handling this, with Iggy.

She saw me looking at her and looked back. She smiled, so I had to, too. She looked down at the canyon and started heading towards one of the small caves down in the rocks. I followed.

She landed running, got out of my way, and I landed the same way. It wasn't too dark yet. We could still see, which didn't say much. We both sat and let our wings out in the breeze because it felt good.

We were silent for a long time, just thinking, staring out at the rocks in front of us.

I broke the silence.

"So what do we do? About Iggy?"

She sighed. "I thought you knew…"

"Well, I'm not the leader."

"So? You could still come up with ideas to make my job a little easier."

"Good point."

I thought for a while, both of us did. I wasn't sure what to do about Iggy. It was hard enough to accept that he was suicidal in the first place. I wasn't sure about those types of people. I wasn't sure about people _period._ Let alone mentally unsound people.

"We'll start by doing some research on the computer." Max said. She had her knees folded into her chest, and had her arms crossed over them, her chin rested on them. "That might be a good start."

I nodded. "I agree. What do we do before we can do that?"

She shrugged.

"I think the kids should talk to him."

She looked at me, confused.

I explained. "We might not be able to get through to him, but maybe they can."

"Who would you suggest?"

I thought about that. "I think Gazzy or Angel would be best."

She nodded. "Both for obvious reasons…I think Angel would do best, but I think it would do Gazzy some good to talk to him."

"That's what I was thinking."

We would ask Gazzy later.

I laid down on my stomach and looked over the edge of the cliff to the bottom of the canyon. I sighed.

"I could've missed him…He was so close to the bottom…" I hid my face in my crossed arms.

Max saw how upset I was. She stroked my wing.

"No one would have blamed you if you missed him." she whispered. "You know that, right?"

I didn't respond.

"Fang?"

"I would've blamed me…"

She put her hand between my wings, on my back. Exactly how I liked it. She knew me so well. I held back a twitch, because she also knew that I would twitch and would get me to laugh in embarrassment about it. I didn't feel like laughing, but I'd thank her later for trying. It was hard to hold back that twitch. Her hand rubbing my back felt so good, and it tickled. But I did.

"I wouldn't blame you because it wouldn't be your fault. I would only blame you if you didn't try."

That helped a little.

"But he was so close…"

"He was. But you caught him."

I didn't respond.

I looked over at her when she pulled her hand off my back and laid down beside me. We both pulled our wings in to make room. I nudged her elbow with mine. She glared at me and returned the gesture. I grinned, trying to make her smile too. It didn't work. She just looked down at the rocks.

"I can't believe he almost died…" she said. "How did we not notice? We should've noticed _something…_." She shivered. It had turned a little chilly outside with nightfall. She hadn't thought to bring a jacket.

I unfurled my wing again and draped it over her back like a blanket. She looked over at me and met my eyes, then smiled. I flinched a little when she rolled over, but she just rolled onto her back. She ran her fingers through the feathers under my wings. I chuckled and she turned to me.

"That tickles."

She grinned. At least I'd succeeded in making her smile today.

Max kept tickling me. It felt good after a while, and it started feeling relaxing. Soon, it got really cold, and she practically froze to death. So, gentleman as I was, I gave her my jacket. It was huge on her, but she still said it was warm. Her wings fit easily through the holes in the back, since my wings were bigger than hers.

We stayed up there even after the lights in the house went out.

Except for the light in my old room.

_**Okay! Posted! I won't waste my time with these random comments! On with the story! Please review! I like reviews…**_

_**--Fire wolf12**_


	7. Chapters 10 and 11

_**Updating…**_

_**I don't own Maximum Ride.**_

CHAPTER TEN

Iggy's POV

Do you know how it feels when, just hours ago, you were jumping out of your bedroom window with your wings trapped with the intention of dying?

Probably not. Because you probably don't have wings to be trapped in the first place.

Maybe something a little more relatable…

Have you ever felt like everyone around you would be better off with you gone?

Maybe.

Back to the situation that just applies to me.

What about feeling like you want to die, and then having a friend literally jump off a cliff to save your life, regardless of him having wings?

That can make a person feel pretty damn good.

I had no clue what time it was. The only thing I had to tell time, without anyone in the room with me to tell me what the clock said, was the air from outside. Which couldn't come in, since Fang had locked the window. I wasn't an idiot, and had thought about unlocking it. But I couldn't. Fang had left me here and trusted me to leave it. No matter how much I wanted to die, I couldn't betray him like that. He would see I'd done it, then be angry at me because I hadn't listened. I couldn't die having him mad at me…Maybe after we had one of those corny heart-to-heart talks…I dreaded it already.

But, if I had one of those, someone would know what I was thinking. I would tie up any loose ends in my life, and then there wouldn't be anything to stop me from killing myself…I was dreading that too.

There was a knock on the door. I guessed it was Fang or Max and they wanted to talk to me, have the heart-to-heart I didn't want to have. I didn't move until I was sure who it was.

"Iggy?"

It was Nudge. I opened the door.

"I thought you were Max." I told her.

"Really? That's kind of a compliment. I've been mistaken for a 14-year-old…"

"What do you want, Nudge?"

I could almost feel her looking at me, then away at something else. She didn't say anything for a minute.

"What's wrong?" I asked. "I can tell. You have something to say."

I heard her scuff her foot against the carpet.

"Nudge?"

"Why?" she asked suddenly. "Why would you want to kill yourself? It doesn't make sense to me."

Now I had to be careful. I could hear that she was on the verge of tears.

"You wouldn't understand."

"Please, Ig?"

I looked in her direction and decided what to tell her.

"Look. It's complicated."

"Iggy, make me understand. Please?"

I paused, frowning, looking down at my feet. Then I moved to the side and let her into the room, shutting the door. I heard her sit on the bed. I made my way over to Fang's bed, still made from this morning, and that would stay made until tomorrow night. That made me feel a little guilty.

"Now." Nudge said. "Tell me now."

I took a deep breath.

"I just don't feel needed. You guys are always trying to make me okay. At the School, you guys always got hurt because you were explaining to me what was happening, and then you got hurt because they wanted you to shut up and you wouldn't. Now, we can't move the furniture because then Iggy will be lost."

Nudge waited a second to be sure I was done. And I was. I didn't plan to tell her any more than that.

"That's stupid." she said finally. "It doesn't make any sense to me."

"That's just you. Our minds think differently."

She was silent for a while. I heard her lay down on my bed, so I laid down on Fang's.

"Don't tell the kids."

Nothing.

"They'd be upset."

"Both of them would. You think I'm not?"

"I never said that."

She paused, then I heard her get up. "I won't tell. I was just curious for myself, is all…" Then she left and I was alone again.

Not quite the heart-to-heart I'd feared, but if Nudge was worried for me, then the others must've been too.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Fang's POV

Max and I stayed out for a little while. Her back started hurting. We could never stay laying on our backs for too long, because of the wings. So I rubbed her wing like she had mine. Hers were softer than I thought. She giggled at first, a cute little sound that she didn't make very often. So I continued. Soon she smiled, and closed her eyes, her chin on her folded arms.

We both flinched when there was thunder, far away, but still suddenly close. It had been so quiet and peaceful and the perfect moment with Max. But she didn't react much. She just turned her head and looked over at me.

"Do you think we should head back?" she whispered.

I let my hand rest on her waist and shrugged as much as I could while I was laying on the ground. "Should we?"

She shrugged back in response.

"Do you want to?"

"Do _you_ want to?"

She scowled and gently punched my shoulder, smiling a little bit. I smiled because it was cute. Then I realized how close her face was to mine. She clearly either hadn't noticed or didn't care.

"Fang, are you actually blushing?"

"What? No. Of course not. Why would you think that?"

"Because you are."

I blushed more and glared at her. She shook her head and looked away, back over the edge of the cliff. I rolled back over onto my stomach and flexed my wings a little bit.

There was more thunder. The storm was here now. I loved this, the moments before the storm starts. It calmed me. Almost made me forget about Iggy…I wished that the moment would've lasted longer.

"We should go." Max said. "You know how Gazzy is with storms."

I sighed but nodded. We both moved forward over the edge of the cliff.

It was a thrill to free-fall for a hundred feet or so. Max fell faster, since she was smaller and more streamlined. The rain started falling, racing us to the bottom of the canyon and to the rocks below.

Iggy probably would have tried to beat the rain to the bottom.

That was something I couldn't stop myself from thinking.

But I shook it out of my head quickly. When you're falling at about 200 mph, you can't have things like that on your mind. It's just not a smart thing to do. Trust me.

Max unfurled her wings and slowed down. I swept past her then did the same with my wings, flying straight upwards and gaining speed as I approached her. Level with her, we both smiled at each other. Despite the now-pouring rain and the fact that our best friend had just attempted suicide, it would always feel amazing to fly in the rain.

Max's hair was soaking wet now, practically plastered to her head. My clothes were pretty heavy from the extra water in them, and it took a little more strength to keep myself hovering in the air. Max disappeared for a moment. I couldn't see her, and realized that my bangs had fallen over my eyes. I brushed them back and blinked away rain from my eyes, then smiled, glad to see her again, suddenly silhouetted against lightning for less than a second. That was more intimidating than I would've thought. But it lasted only a second, then it was back to being in the dark, pouring rain.

She grinned and randomly pushed my shoulder again, then started towards the house. I shook my head and followed her.

_**Okay! Updated! Thanks to all that reviewed! Please continue to make me happy!:D**_

_**--Fire wolf12**_


	8. Chapter 12

_**Ugh…so busy…vacations and band and so forth…I'm gonna try to update more though. Once school starts hopefully. I realize my FanFiction account has been pretty dormant…I'm trying to write more! **__**J**_

_**I have not somehow acquired Maximum Ride ownership. Thank you James Patterson!**_

CHAPTER TWELVE

Fang's POV

When we got to the house, the windows were closed. Good kids. So Max and I both landed on a windowsill together. I put instinctively put an arm around her shoulders with my hand on the frame of the window so that she wouldn't fall back into the canyon, which was completely retarded on my part, but I didn't want her wings to accidentally get stuck in my jacket or something like that…I had my reasons, after today. She didn't pull away, though.

I knocked on the kitchen window. I saw Gazzy jump up from the couch. He saw us and let us in.

"Thanks, Gaz." Max said.

"Must've been scared," I said. "Two huge things knocking at the window at night in the pouring rain."

He half-smiled and kind of shrugged. Poor kid. Still confused about the events of the day…

Gazzy ran to the bathroom and got us both towels. I swore. The clothes in the backpack? Remember, the ones I was saving, so I wouldn't have to disturb Iggy's thinking? Yeah, soaked right through. So Gazzy was a good little boy and found some of mine that were in the laundry. A little dirty. A stain from something on the front, but nothing major. What made me wear it? The fact that it was a shirt that Max hated. We'd found a black shirt, and Gazzy had put some random splotches on it that looked like bird crap, and wrote "birds love me so much…" on the front. Max hated it just because it was so stupid. I loved it for the same reason. Max and I both had to change. She changed in the bathroom first, then me. When she saw my shirt, she glared at me. I grinned, giving her a "try-and-stop-me-from-wearing-this" look. She ignored it and passed me…Silent victory for me.

So after we were in the warm house, the three of us sat in the living room.

Max looked at the clock. "Gazzy, it's late. You should be in bed right now."

So she attempted to shoo him off to bed, if that's what to call it…Max doesn't exactly "shoo", but you get my point. But he wouldn't go.

"No. I'm not going to bed." He threw himself on the couch.

I exchanged a look with Max. This wasn't like him. He didn't usually resist us on small issues like going to bed.

"You take care of him, I'll check on Angel and Nudge." I nodded once and she left the room. I stood with my arms crossed, looking down at Gazzy. He looked back up at me, sinking deeper and deeper into the cushions.

"I like your shirt, Fang."

"Don't change the subject. You have to get some sleep, Gazzy." I told him.

He stubbornly shook his head, crossing his arms and raising his chin.

I sighed.

"I don't want to go to bed." he said. "I'm 8 years old and I don't need a bedtime."

"But you still need sleep. You're a bird-kid, not a vampire."

"I could be one."

"No, I'm pretty sure you can't be a vampire, Gazzy."

"I'm still not going to bed."

So I resorted to using the physical force I had over him. I picked him up and carried him to his bedroom. It seemed like so long ago that I'd done this to Iggy…Gazzy was a lot lighter, though. But, unlike I expected, he didn't resist that much. He struggled a little at first, but then settled down into my arms. It was kind of like when I held him when he was 4 or 5. He was just a little bigger than he was back then.

I set him down on his bed and kneeled down in front of his bed, on my knees. His big blue eyes were pretty sad. Not normal for him, not a good thing.

I tried to smile. "What's wrong?"

He looked a little surprised that I'd read him that well.

"C'mon. I know you."

He looked away. I frowned.

"You're worried about Iggy."

He looked at me again.

I nodded. "We're all worried about him. You're not the only one, buddy."

He looked down at his lap. "He really was gonna kill himself, wasn't he?" he asked softly.

I looked down too and nodded silently.

He looked back up at me. "Why, Fang? Why would he want to do that? It doesn't make sense…Isn't he happy here?"

I sat down beside him on the bed. "Talk to me."

Gazzy hesitated, but then he started talking and didn't stop.

"I don't get it. He seemed okay before. I never noticed anything wrong with him, and then suddenly he tried that and…and I don't know what to do about it. I don't want him to go away. I want him to live and everyone would be sad if he died. I know you and Max would be, even if you wouldn't show it, and me, Angel, and Nudge would miss him a lot too." He wiped at his eyes. "I love him and I don't want him to die. Cuz then we'd be missing part of our family. And he wants to do some stuff before he died, like hear real fireworks, and go to Disney World and have a chance to be normal. He loves us and we love him and…I'm scared that if everyone's asleep, he'll try again and maybe if he gets up to try he'll go out and see me and I might be able to stop him and…"

It wasn't often that Gazzy cried, but it made sense for him to now.

I hugged him. He curled up into me. It surprised me a little at how easily he cozied up to me. Max said I was a pretty scary person, which sometimes cut deep, coming from her. But, she seemed to be the only one that thought so. Obviously, Gazzy was okay with me…

He stayed there for quite a while, even after he stopped crying. I think that he just liked being hugged. I made a mental note to hug him more often.

I couldn't stand to move him. He seemed completely content to sit in my lap.

I saw Max show up in the doorway in the corner of my eye. I glanced at her. She was looking sadly at Gazzy, who still hadn't noticed her. We exchanged a look. She nodded, then almost silently shut the door.

When she closed the door, even though she did it silently, Gazzy still heard it and lifted his head. He glanced over his shoulder at the door, then up at me. His eyes were red, and his cheeks were still a little bit wet. He still looked pretty sad. But I could tell he was at least a little glad that he'd spoken his mind.

I smiled and ruffled his hair. "Better now, buddy?" I asked.

He nodded, frowning. The child had such contradicting actions sometimes…

The storm outside still hadn't stopped. The rain was pounding on the windows and roof. He jumped when there was a flash of lightning, but was prepared for the thunder.

Gazzy blushed and moved out of my lap, sitting beside me.

I chuckled. "Time for bed, Gaz. You gonna rebel again or do I have to tie you down?"

He kind of smiled, then reluctantly got under the covers, pulling them up to his chin and rolling to his side, facing me as I kneeled down next to the bed again.

"Good night, Fang." he said, smiling. Dang, he was the cutest little guy I'd ever seen. Just the way he could look at you…But I never told anyone that, because then my whole dark, scary, goth-bird-kid image would be destroyed.

I smiled back. "Good night, Gasman." I affectionately scratched the part of his wing that was sticking out from under the blanket, getting up and heading to the door. If anyone else had been in the room, I might have pinched his wing or something, the way all of us hated.

"Fang?"

"Huh?" I turned back around, my hand on the light switch. "You need something?"

He paused. He sat up, seemingly trying to remember what he was going to ask me. Or he was just trying to figure out how to word it.

"Will Iggy try again?"

I was a little surprised by the question, even though I should've expected him to ask.

I sighed. "I don't know. Maybe he will. Hopefully he won't."

"What if…next time…?"

"Just don't think about that right now. Me and Max are going to think of something to do about it that would help him. If we do the right thing, there won't be a next time. But just try not to think about it. Understand?"

He didn't say anything.

I sat on the bed again. "Don't worry about it. If you need to talk, me and Max will always be here for you, okay?"

He nodded. "What if all of us get like that?"

"Dang, you think negative thoughts…Not all of us will be like that. Just Iggy, if we can help it. The rest of us aren't like him…You know how quiet Iggy is about his feelings…The rest of us would speak up." I looked down to him. "You would speak up if you were thinking about killing yourself, wouldn't you?"

He nodded instantly. "Of course I would." He looked at me like he was worried. "You're quiet too. And I read on the internet once that emos like you are kind of likely to attempt suicide and stuff…"

"When did you look this up? And I'm not emo."

He nodded again. "You are. You look just like the guys on those sites…"

I thought about that. Great. Well, "emo-bird-kid" was scarier than "goth-bird-kid…"

Gazzy went on. "I read that emo kids think about that a lot, and I'd be really sad if you turned like that too. Cuz I don't want to think about you being gone…"

Damn, he was the cutest little kid, even though he did spend his free time reading about emo kids on the internet.

I had to smile. "Thanks, buddy. I don't want you gone either."

So I ruffled up his hair one more time, then got up and went to the door again to leave.

"I love you, Fang."

I smiled back at him.

"I love you too, Gazzy. I'll see you in the morning."

_**Okay! Updated! Again, so sorry for the wait! I'll really try to update more! Review please!**_

_**-Fire wolf12**_


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